


Finding Happiness In You

by twoboyskissing



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, F/F, Friends to Lovers, Girl Direction, Happy Ending, Insecure Louis, Mentions of Violence, No Smut, Pining, anyway, but only like in one sentence tbh, girl harry, girl louis, harry is so far gone for louis, i changed louis family background for reasons, im so sorry i love him :(, nick is an asshole in this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-10
Updated: 2015-07-10
Packaged: 2018-04-08 13:51:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,807
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4307547
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/twoboyskissing/pseuds/twoboyskissing
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>nick breaks up with louis. after that louis meets harry and that changes almost everything.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Finding Happiness In You

**on a friday in february**

Louis is holding hands with Nick, lying on the beach. It is freezing cold outside and they are wrapped in a comfy blanket. The stars are sparkling and Nick has been playing with Louis' hair for a while.

"You're so gorgeous." Louis mumbles und notices how the corner's of Nick's mouth are twitching. 

Time passses and Nick yawns, turning on his side. Snuggling into his shoulders, Louis smiles. 

Louis waits until Nick breathes regularly and she is sure that he is asleep. Then Louis closes her eyes herself. 

Forgetting about everything that had happened today, Louis begins to dream. 

_The sun is shining, there are no clouds visible on the turqouise sky. It is a beautiful day in summer. Maybe spring? Who knows. There is a slight breeze, the wind is blowing through trees, bushes and fields. It is the exact opposite of a strong wind, the air is gentle and warm just like the cosy bear children which are cuddling up together._

_The temperature is close to reaching 30 celsius degrees though the bear children do not seem to mind as they do not want to let go of each other. They are happy and seem playfully. Yet in between times their stomaches start to feel a little strange tighten._

_Then, suddenly, for a few short moments, they stiffen and hold their heads in a slightly slanting position as if they were thinking about something that confuses them. Shortly afterwards they continue playing, forgetting quickly about their thoughts._

_Only a few minutes later, the sky darkens. First there are only a couple of clouds nearing them, then all at once the sky is filled with hundreds of grey clouds._

_For the very last time the bear children get a glimpse of sunlight. After that, there is nothing but darkness and silence. The air is getting colder and colder and a rolling thunder greets them. It starts to rain._

_Lo and behold! The bear children are not bothered by the rain. They like the wetness and continue playing unimpeded and happily and somehow, well, somehow they feel even better than before._

**on a saturday in may**

"Where are you?" Nicks whispers and Louis giggles quietly. 

"I know that you are out there somewhere!" He says, a little louder this time.

It is quite dark in Louis' room, they are playing hide and seek. 

Louis and Nick. Nick and Louis. She cringed at the thought and notices how her breath turns uneven. Quickly, she pushes those thoughts out of her mind.

"I could tell by your breath!" Nicks squeals and all of sudden Nick's lips find their way to hers. 

Louis is so surpised that both of them fall on the ground. His hands grab Louis by her hair and she pulls him closer to her. 

Louis likes moments like this but sometimes she gets a little confused, too . During those times when Nick and Louis are alone, they can be theirselves, can't they?

And again, there is a thought in Louis' mind that should not be there. 

She stops kissing Nick. 

"What's wrong?" Nick asks breathless. 

Louis only shakes her heard, she does not know herself. 

"Louis, tell me what's up with you." Nick sits up and a long silence follows his words.

"I truly wish I could see your face right now." He whispers.

"Why's that?" 

"So that I could see what you're thinking about." Nicks answers.

"Do you really think you could read my thoughts like that?"

Louis feels Nick's fingers on her cheek, slowly stroking but then he flinches.

This time it is Louis who asks, "What's wrong?"

"It's not easy, y'know?" Nick says and Louis knits her brow.

"What's not easy?" She asks, taking Nick into her arms. 

Suddenly, Nick starts sobbing. 

"Hey, what has come over you?" Louis mutters tenderly.

"Promise me, you won't be angry?" Nick mumbles.

"Never." Louis answeres.

She swears in that moment she could hear Nick's heart beating like hell. 

"Really?"

"Really." 

Nick looks at her, smiling, somehow in a sad way, he says, "I got a feeling that you're not happy lately. Not happy with me. And please, Louis, hold on for a second and don't interrupt me right now. I know you probably have thousands things to say but please let me explain for once."

Biting on her lip, Louis nods. She could do that. Probably. Hopefully.

"It feels like you're miles away. Like you're always thinking about something else when I'm with you. And I'm sorry, babe, but I consider myself to be a little above that." 

"Above that?" Louis echoes.

"This is the third time we've met in two months, Louis. We never do anything. And when we do you're never actually there. You're always in your mind thinking about something else. And don't you dare to tell me that you are not because, Louis, I've known you my whole life and I know you. And I think we're better off as friends. At least for me and that's what's important to me right now as you don't really seem to care." 

Louis stares at him. Stares, stares and stares. 

She lifts her hand but then she stiffens. It feels like her blood is freezing inside herself. This could not be real. She tries to tell herself that Nick did not actually mean that. It does not help. Louis feels like exploding.

Then, all of sudden, she pushes Nick away. 

"What the fuck, Louis?" Nick cries out.

And then a whisper, "You promised you wouldn't get mad." 

"Yeah, before I knew that you wanted to break up with me!" Louis sounds angry. Angry and frustrated.

Nick had been her first boyfriend. Nick had been also her first friend ever. They had met at kindergarten and since then they had just hit it off. 

That moment, when Louis had said these words out loud, she only really realised what they meant.

No. No. No. She could not be alone. This could not be real. She had literally no one exept Nick. They would talk about them breaking up and then they would forget about her. Louis was only visible for them because she had been with Nick. 

Nick, who is popular. Nick, who has hundreds of other friends he can hang out with whenever he feels like it. 

Not able to hold it any longer, Louis begins to cry. The tears slowly start streaming down her face and everything she can think about is that she is lucky that it is dark in her room right now and Nick can hopefully not see her like this. 

"I'm sorry, Louis. I really am. But I think it's better for you, too, alright?" He finally says and stands up. 

"Are you fucking kidding me? Do you even know what you're doing to me right now? Do you actually understand your fucking actions? What's gonna happen to me? To us? Nick, please don't leave!" Louis is basically screaming as Nick touches her hair for a short second, stroking over it for the last time.

He leaves the room.

Louis is alone in the dark.

Silence. 

She cannot hold it back. She starts to sob. Ugly sobbing.

Everything is going to be different. No one is going to like her anymore, no one is going to want to spend time with her. No one.

**on a monday in august**

Her alarm goes off.

Louis hits it with her left hand and groans. 

"Please, please, don't let it be the first day of school." Louis whispers to herself as she slowly opens her eyes. 

They drift to her calendar on the wall. 

"Fuck." She groans again.

During holidays she had lost count of the days and every day when she had woken up, she had prayed that the time had not come already. She had been lucky for a long time. Not anymore.

Today was the day.

"Louis!" She hears her mother screaming from downstairs, "Get up! If you're not ready soon, you'll be late!"

Fucking Shit. She really does not want to get up. She does not want to think about what is going to happen today.

"Damn, Louis! Get up now! You're almost eighteen and you can't even get out of bed on your own! Do you see yourself having chances in the future with an attitude like that? I don't think so.." Her mother starts rambling and Louis tunes out. She really does not care.

Louis rolles herself on the other side of the bed and takes a deep breath and closes her eyes again.

Bad idea.

More screaming from downstairs.

Louis groans again but then she slowly moves her legs and touches the ground with her feet. She feels a little dizzy and holds back for a few seconds. Rubbing the sleep from her eyes, she yawns.

Louis had actually wanted to think of a plan. A plan that included not going to school today. 

Fuck. She should have kept track on the days until school was starting again.

All through holidays, Louis had just been way too happy, because she was not in schoool, to think about that plan. 

What should she even do in school?

No one liked her. No one talked to her. Just as she had foreseen it. 

Why should she go back to a place like that? 

Besides, if she did, she had to see him again.

Nick.

Lost in her thoughts of the previous months, Louis actually stands up and looks for some pants to wear.

After Nick had broken up with her, Nick had told almost everyone at school that Louis has an aggression problem. No one had wanted to talk to her after that. 

Everyone believed Nick, every single student. 

He was telling lies and he did not even care about what he did to Louis with it. 

At first, Louis could not believe it. She could not believe what her best friend since childhood had become.

A few of the tough guys at school started coming up to Louis. She did not know what else Nick had told them but it did not seem to be nice things. 

They wanted to try out things. They wanted to to see her get aggressive.

At least they had not hit her in the face. She would not have known how to explain it to her mother. 

Her mother still thinks that Louis was the one who had broken up with Nick. She had also told her that they had remained friends. 

Louis can not stop herself from laughing out at that thought. 

Friends.

As if.

She did not have the heart to tell her mother the truth. 

Louis finished getting dressed and is now walking into her bathroom. 

Brushing her teeth, she looks into the mirror. 

Her eyes look gloomy and her skin looks odd.

Everything she wants to do right now is to lie on the floor and continue sleeping. 

Even though the position would be kind of uncomfortable. Probably.

She cannot do that unfortunately. 

Louis spits out the toothpaste and washes her face with cold water.

Still sleepy, she walks back into her room and grabs her backpack.

She runs down the stairs and greets her little sisters with a kiss on the cheek. 

"Took you long enough." Her mum says and Louis greets her with a kiss on the cheek as well. She cannot stop herself from rolling her eyes though.

"Whatever." She mumbles and reaches for an apple from the fruit bowl on the tabble. 

"You have to eat more than an apple, Louis." 

"Later." Louis says and bites into the apple. 

"Have to leave now." She says, "Love y'all."

"Love you, too." Her mum and her little sisters reply.

She blows them one last kiss and then leaves the house.

Louis walks along the streets, her eyes never leaving the ground. She cannot stand the glances from other people. She does not want to see them judging her.  
She has not used a bus in ages. There had been whispers and laughter and after going through that for one week straight, Louis decided to ditch going by bus.

It is not that bad on the streets but Louis still feels uncomfortable and does not dare to look anyone in the eyes.

As she walks, she comes closer to the school grounds. It is almost like she can feel how suddenly everyone is staring at her.

Louis continues staring at the ground and tries to get to the school building as fast as she can.

Eventually, she is inside. 

She goes through different corridors, quickly, she only wants to find the room to her next class.

And then - Oh. 

Suddenly Louis is lying on the ground. 

"Oops."

And then, "So-Sorry, fuck."

Louis does not think she has ever heard a more beautiful voice in her life. How could a voice be that deep?

She sits up to find a green-eyed girl looking at her.

A very gorgeous green-eyed girl with long, brunette, curly hair which Louis would die for. Louis suddenly felt very insecure about her own short hair. That girl's hair looked like it was cut out from a L’Oréal commerical.

"Hi" Louis finally says. Good move. Great. Who the fuck says 'hi' in a situation like this.

"I mean-," Louis stutters, "it's fine."

"Harry." The green-eyed girl holds her hand out. Apparently she does not care about the people staring at them because they are still sitting on the ground. Louis does not think she really minds, either.

"Harry?" Louis is confused.

"My name's Harry." Green-eyed girl smiles at her. 

Fuck. How could Louis be that dumb. Of course, green-eyed girl- Harry, would tell her her name. 

"Yeah, um. Of course, hi Harry." Awkward as hell. 

They shake hands and Louis feels herself shaking a bit.

Damn, what is going on with her today. She feels nervous. Why the fuck would she feel nervous? There is literally no reason.

Maybe, the though guys that are nearing them but Louis could not keep her eyes on them because Harry had spoken up again. 

"So?"

"Hm?" Louis just cannot be more confused today, can she?

"Well, what's your name?" Harry grins.

Oh yeah. That was a thing people did. Telling each other their names. Right.

"Louis." She said, "Yeah- uh. I'm Louis." 

Another smile from Harry.

"Nice to meet you, Louis. I'm very sorry for running you over. See, it's my first day and-"

Louis starts shaking her head, knowing that Harry was about to start a conversation and Louis really could not do that to her.

Louis interrupts Harry, "Nice to meet you, too, Harry. But you really shouldn't talk to me. Sorry."

Louis stands up and turns around without waiting for another reply and lets Harry alone sitting in the corridor. 

The rest of the day, Louis cannot stop thinking about Harry.

**on a tuesday in september**

"Louis!" 

"I'm downstairs in a few seconds!" Louis shouts, grabs her backpack and runs down the stairs.

"You can't go to school today." Her mum says and Louis freezes immediately.

"What? Why?" 

"Chloe and Cara are sick. And you know that I have that important talk at work today. You have to go to the doctor with them, alright? Gonna write you an excuse note later, okay, honey?" She replies.

Louis nods, innerly screaming. Of course, she feels bad for her little baby sisters but having an excuse not to go to school was the best thing to happen to her in a while. 

"Alright. I have to leave now, be careful." Louis' mum kisses her on the cheek and then grabs her keys and leaves. 

Louis lets her backpack fall down as she makes her way to her little sisters sitting on the ground in the living room.

"What's up with you two little princesses?" Louis asks, her voice smooth. 

Both of them sniffle.

Louis sighs. If she did not know that they could be annoying as hell, she would actually think that those two were the cutest human beings in the world. 

"Did you eat already?" 

They shake their tiny heads.

"Gonna make you something then." Louis says and their faces lit up.

"Cornflakes please?" Chloe asks and Cara adds, "The one with the little chocolate bits?"

Louis ruffles them through their hair and says," Only the best for my two favourite sisters."

Cara starts laughing but Chloe looks at her confused.

"But you don't have any other sisters than us?" 

Louis grins at Chloe and nods. 

"That's why you two are so special to me."

They both seem to enjoy that answer as they start giggling.

"I'm gonna make you breakfast quickly and then we'll leave to the doctor's, alright, pumpkins?" 

They smile and nod.

Louis walks back into the kitchen and grabs three bowls for each of them as she did not have any breakfast before as well. A few moments later, breakfast is ready for all of them and she calls for her sisters.

Chloe and Cara come running into the kitchen. 

"Hush, not that fast. Both of you are sick." Louis warns them but cannot stop herself from smiling at how greedily they eat up their cornflakes.

They are ready to go in no time.

"Can you get your jackets and put on your shoes or shalI help you with that?" Louis asks.

"It's fine." Both of Louis' sisters reply.

Louis looks for her jacket as well and puts on her shoes when her little sisters are already waiting for her in front of the door, impatiently. 

"Are you sure you're sick?" Louis laughs at them and ruffles through their hair again.

They pout.

"Yes, we are!"

"Feel my head, I'm hot as hell!" 

"Okay, okay. I believe you." Louis laughs again and opens the door.

The doctor is not far away from them, only a few streets down in the opposite direction of the school. 

Louis closes the door and they start walking.

They are no kids on the street, only a few older people who might be on their way to work. 

It is kind of really nice to be able to look straight ahead for once. 

Not much time passes and they arrive at the doctor's office. 

Louis tells her little sisters to sit down in the waiting room as she makes her way to the receptionist. She explains that both of her sisters have to see the doctor and the woman in front of her takes notes. 

She tells her that they will to have to wait for 15-30 minutes.

"Thank you." Louis says and smiles at the friendly woman.

As Louis walks back into the waiting room, her eyes are looking for her little sisters.

When she finally sees them, she also sees that they are not alone.

Harry is sitting next to them.

"What the fuck." Whispering to herself, Louis walks towards them.

Louis sits down on the chair next to Chloe.

"Hey, Louis." Harry says, casually and smiles at her.

Biting on her lip, Louis remembers the times in last month Harry had said those exact words to her. Those had been a lot of times. 

Louis still had refused to talk to her for more than a few seconds though. 

Harry was too good to be friends with Louis. 

She had seen her in a group with lots of people on the school ground a few times. Harry had already found a lot of friends and Louis did not understand why she would still try to talk to Louis. 

Being seen with Louis would make everything worse for Harry and Louis did not want this for her. 

"How are you?" Harry asks, not waiting for Louis to greet her back.

"Fine." Louis says and grabs a magazine from a pile on a table next to her.

Louis tries to concentrate on an article about Heidi Klum's new boyfriend but her eyes always seem to look out for Harry's. 

Fuck this. 

Harry is just so beautiful and Louis does not understand why this would make her feel so irritated. Louis had never had a problem with appreciating other girls but this was definitely new and she does not know how to deal with it.

Harry asks about some other stuff but after getting only a few "yes" and "no" replies from Louis, she stops.

"Cara and Chloe Tomlinson?" A nurse enters the waiting room and calls for them.

Louis' little sisters jump up.

Louis stands up, too but Chloe puts a hand on her thigh, stopping her from walking.

"You can wait here. We're old and big enough to go alone, aren't we, Cara?"

Cara nods.

Louis is so confused by them wanting to go on their own that she does not notice them running into the doctor's room until they are already gone.

"They don't seem to have anything bad, they'll be fine. I'll have an eye on them." The nurse calms Louis down.

"But I can't leave them alone, I promised my mum-"

"Honey, kids go to check ups all the time on their own. It's routine. Nothing will happen to them. And after, they will be proud that they went alone." The nurse assures her.

Louis nods, still not completely convinced but there is not much she can do anyway.

Her eyes follow the nurse walking away.

Then, suddenly, she feels a hand on hers.

"Sit down, again. They'll be fine on their own." 

Louis smiles at Harry and lets herself sink into the chair again.

"Don't you want to know why I'm here at this time?" Harry asks and grins. 

Louis wishes for a brief moment that everything was different. That everything would not be as difficult as it already is. Then she and Harry maybe could have been friends.

"To be honest, I don't." Louis says and turns away, grabbing another magazine.

She really does not want to see the hurt look on Harry's face.

"Louis, I really don't know what I did wrong but can you just tell me for once why you don't want to be friends with me?" Harry whispers and Louis turns back to her.

There are tears in Harry's eyes and suddenly Louis feels very bad about herself. She could have been a bit nicer. She really did not want to hurt Harry.

"You didn't do anything wrong, love. I just-"

"What?" Harry asks and there is a tear streaming down his face.

"I'm just not good for you." Louis mumbles and hopes that the conversation will come to an end now.

"Why would you think that?" Harry broaches the subject again.

Taking a deep breath, Louis says, "Listen, my ex-boyfriend has told some pretty nasty things about me to literally everyone at school. Things like hitting him and that I have an aggression problem. Which, I didn't. But everyone seems to believe him so please, stay away from me. I don't want everyone to hate you, too, just because you get seen with me."

Harry looks at her doubtfully.

"Louis, do you really think things like that would be important to me? I've been running after you for a month now, damn, I really just want to be friends with you." Harry smiles at her, "Only you. I don't care about the others and what silly things they have to say about you."

Now Louis is the one who is looking at Harry doubtfully.

"You can't be serious." She really could not be. 

People just did not want to have anything to do with Louis. It has always been like that. Everyone hated her.

"Louis-" Harry says and reaches for Louis' hand, "I swear, I'm totally being honest with you right now. I want to be friends with you."

Fuck. Louis can feel her racing heart.

"O-Okay." Louis stutters.

Harry gives her the most beautiful smile Louis has ever seen. 

She also notices that Harry has dimples.

She is so fucked.

"Alright, good thing we've talked about it." Harry grins, "Now, do you maybe want to know why I'm here?"

Aware, that Harry's hand is still on hers, Louis smiles back, "Go for it." 

She does not think she wants Harry to pull her hand back.

 

**on a wednesday in december**

"Louis, my dear, could you please help me zip?" Her mother asks and Louis grins.

"'Course." She relpies and helps her.

"Thanks, love. Harry is coming soon, doesn't she? You're going to have so much fun! Even though I'm really sad that you won't be spending Christmas Eve with us." 

She snuggles into Louis' shoulder and Louis keeps her arms around her.

"I'm sorry, mum. But it still is my 18th birthday." Louis whispers and gets a kiss on the cheek from her mother in return.

"I know, I know. I still can't believe that you're an adult now, honey."

Louis smiles at her and slowly lets go of her mother.

"Do you know when you'll be back though?" Her mother asks as Louis just wanted to go and look if Harry is already there.

"I don't know. Everything I know is that you and the girls will probably be asleep by then." 

Her mother chuckles and sighs.

"Alright, off you go!" 

Louis kisses her goodbye and then opens the door.

She takes a few steps outside. There is snow everywhere and it is a little foggy, too. The sky is dark for the time of the day.

"Louis!" A familiar voice rings out.

And there she is.

Harry.

Running towards her, Harry suddenly jumps onto her and both of them fall on the ground, into the snow.

For a brief moment it reminds Louis of the day they had first met.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" Harry cries out and pulls Louis closer to her.

Louis giggles.

After the visit at the doctor's office, Louis and Harry had slowly become very good friends.

Louis had started to believe that Harry did not care about what the people in school said about her.

Maybe it was selfish but the time she spent with Harry every day was the time she enjoyed most.

Now, with Harry, even school was bearable again. Of course, a lot of people still said mean things but together with Harry, Louis did not really care about it anymore. 

Their friendship had become strong and sincere.

And at times like this, Harry's face so close to hers, Louis just had to think about the meaning of the fast beating of her heart.

The way she felt with Harry, she had never experienced before. Not ever with Nick, not ever with anyone else.

Though, Louis had actually thought that she had been in love with Nick back then. She thought she had been happy being with him.

"Louis?" Harry jolts Louis out of her daydreams. 

"Yeah?" Louis smiles.

"What are you thinking about?" Harry whispers.

"A lot. And about you." Louis answers, truthfully. 

"About me?" A huge smile appearing on Harry's face is telling Louis that this was the right thing to say.

"Who else should I think about?" Louis mumbles and suddenly feels a slight touch on her lips.

Harry's finger is stroking over her bottom lip and then over her upper lip.

Louis trembles.

"I think a lot about you."

"Me, too." 

And then there is nothing else to think about because Harry's lips are meeting Louis' and Louis feels and feels and _feels_. 

She had never felt like this when she was kissing Nick. 

They break apart after a few minutes, both of them breathless.

"Since when did you know?" Harry asks and then holds a hand out for Louis to grab and pulls them both up.

"Since when did I know what?" 

"That you like girls." Harry says and Louis grins at her for being so straight forward.

"I don't really know to be honest. I haven't bothered with all of this love stuff before Nick asked me out. But I never actually thought about girls, y'know? There wasn't even a choice in my mind. But after a few months of dating Nick, I was a little confused. Everyone always says that love feels like thousands of butterflies in your stomach and all that stuff but I never felt that way with Nick. It just didn't happen. But I tried not to think about it. It would have made everything worse." She pauses, "Which in the end it actually did but I don't care about that anymore."

Louis smiles at Harry, "I think a part of me always knew but if I had to chose an exact moment then it would be meeting you, I guess. First, I didn't know what it was but you changed something in me."

Harry smiles back at Louis and says, "I'm so happy that we have found each other."

And Louids nods because she is, too. 

Finally.


End file.
